Poetry for today

This was read to me by a friend recently and has been inspiring me ever since. I do not read or listen to poetry often bc I am drawn to stories and often poetry confuses me but this one made it through. 

Have you ever seen anything in your life more wonderful   than the way the sun, every evening, relaxed and easy, floats toward the horizon   and into the clouds or the hills, or the rumpled sea, and is gone-- and how it slides again   out of the blackness, every morning, on the other side of the world, like a red flower   streaming upward on its heavenly oils, say, on a morning in early summer, at its perfect imperial distance-- and have you ever felt for anything such wild love-- do you think there is anywhere, in any language, a word billowing enough for the pleasure   that fills you, as the sun reaches out, as it warms you   as you stand there, empty-handed-- or have you too turned from this world--   or have you too gone crazy for power, for things?
Mary Oliver The Sun

...............

Once Upon a time there was a girl who liked to read and imagine beautiful stories.  She was told that she could do anything as long as she could dream it.  She was told that she was special.  WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT.

We live in an age of technology yet businesses are still modeled for memos and in house phone calls.  No one needs a desk anymore.  There should be shared spaces and collaborating and no walls and conversation. There should be remote access and free wifi and meals on site and late hours and no dress code and a meeting place that actually accomplishes something.

We should take all the retirees and old people in nursing homes and give them desk jobs bc they would be perfect for it.  No interaction, very little expected of them.  A job title that keeps them pacified with benefits they can use and investments they can pass on to their children. Old people like to sit, they like to be on email all day and read about the news and make comments about it to each other.  They dont need a lot of exercise or new or change. Or they have accepted that this is enough.

Everything is so backwards. You are young, you have dreams and goals and energy. Then you start working. You learn how to conquer a xerox machine, how to format excel, how to look interested in meetings, how to wear the right things that are comfortable to sit in for long days and very cold buildings, you learn what elevators are the fastest, what co workers are the most interesting to sit next to during lunches, how to find the fun pens and sticky notes, how to not jump out the window when you realize this is what you have been working towards.  Yes, all the school, and writing, and homework, and late night chats with college friends, and traveling, and vocational bullshit.  All to lead you here. A little cog in the great machine. And for what?  For healthcare that I need when I am old. For money I need when I am old.  For the promise of security and normalcy and boredom.  Don't live out of the box. Work in the role we want you in - in the job description that is on that Word Document lest anyone colors outside of those lines. Worship mediocrity.  Rules that dont matter.  Lest we all remember that we are dying here.  That we were made for more. That we have forgotten how to think, how to try, how to be challenged, how to solve problems, how to make things better. Actually to contribute.  

We do what is asked, no more no less bc the system is crushing.  But yes, stay for 30 years. We will give you a name plate and special buttons and then you can sit in the meetings with the important bald men who also waited it out.  How neat.

I sit and I sit and I sit.  My thoughts and dreams are drying up. I cant remember what I really care about anymore.  I cant remember what it is like to put effort into things.  I cant remember...

But good thing I have on a collared shirt and my resume matches and I get my work done.  Good thing. I act like I don't have a choice.  I do.

I am so stuck.

Millenial Mondays

I am having another one of those "how did I get here Mondays?"

I walked from my apartment this morning but I mean in the abstract sense.

My first real boss would say that we are only 5 decisions away from shitting in a bag and throwing it over our shoulder.

Maybe that is what is happening to me.  I have made these decisions to get me to this cube with post it notes everywhere and highlighters and one of those comfy office chairs.  How sad to think that I am having to force my body to adapt to sitting all day everyday.  Well I suppose it is already accustomed.

I have become a permanent consumer.

I also have a run in my thick stockings from the zipper on my boot.

And it is almost 3:40.

I did finally get some good hand lotion though.  Winter time is bad for my typing utensils.

I made some delicious chicken last night:
bacon fat in an iron skillet.  seasoned chicken - heavily handed.  Add whole green chili then melt cheese on top.

DELICIOUS.  Thank you cracker barrel for the inspiration.

truth - with a little t

See I can't always tell if I feel this way about other people and I am the one yelling it at them or if he is yelling it at me.

today was one of those  he is yelling at me days.

I consider myself to be an above average self aware individual - as opposed to  below/ average creatively.  I ask myself hard questions, I know what I am good and bad at, I scan myself for faults and before taking someone's criticism to heart I examine if it is something which I should take seriously.

However I am a female and I think this causes me to be more prone to emotions hampering my better/best judgement in the logic/reason department (despite getting in A in Logic in college).  I just can't always separate the two, even when I am trying really supremely hard to be objective.

It is difficult to know what is true and what is not.  Who to listen to and ascribe with weight their words.

I don't want to be one of those people that takes things too personally.  I feel sometimes that affirmation is that turkish delight Edmond could not get enough of from the white queen - filling for a moment yet dangerously addicting..

I need to go eat some chocolate and chill out.

Home

"The right to national self-determination is not simply about the nation governing itself but also about the right of the nation to occupy its traditional geography."


"The possibility of Scottish independence must be understood in this context. Nationalism, the remembrance and love of history and culture, is not a trivial thing. It has driven Europe and even the world for more than two centuries in ever-increasing waves. The upcoming Scottish election, whichever way it goes, demonstrates the enormous power of the desire for national self-determination. If it can corrode the British union, it can corrode anything."


"this is why any theory of human behavior that assumes that the singular purpose of humans is to maximize economic benefits is wrong. Humans have other motivations that are incomprehensible to the economic model but can be empirically demonstrated to be powerful. If this referendum succeeds, it will still show that after more than 300 years, almost half of Scots prefer economic uncertainty to union with a foreign nation."

Read more: The Origins and Implications of the Scottish Referendum | Stratfor
Follow us: @stratfor on Twitter | Stratfor on Facebook

I found this article on the Scottish Independence movement to be quite fascinating.  Mostly because it is surprising to learn that nationalism is something that humans will choose to fight for over economic security - as is the case here. This is sort of a terrible metaphor but it reminded me of when my parents sold the house we grew up in and even though I was grown and had no plans to ever live there again a part of me was so sad to see it go.  That house is a part of who I am and even if that is sinful to love a place it is so human.  I wrote this letter to the little girl who would be moving in after me as a sort of release.  I don't think that a home is the same thing as a country.  But I do think that loving an idea can be beautiful and terrible at the same time.

Dear Hailey,

I do not remember what it was like to be 6.  I know that I already loved to read, got in trouble for talking back, and had a knack for telling people what to do and winning four square games on the black top.  So you must be more aware that people tend to give 6 year olds credit for.  It is strange to have something for so long and not realize what it means until you are forced to give it to someone else.  I never meant to possess something so hard that letting go of it would be painful.  I suppose this is human and I am not above the longings to have an identity somewhere and to look upon a place and know it for all of the things it helped create in me simply by it not changing while I was able to do so within it.  My room is empty now and soon I will move the last of the  bags to donate and will make my bed for the last time.  I was never one for making my bed and it was an endless source of conflict between my mother and I.  I urge you to act with more grace than I ever did.  Your mother is just trying to teach you to take pride in your things and your space and I spent more time arguing with her than it ever would have taken for me to simply acquiesce and make my bed.  Sometimes when you think you are winning at something you really have lost simply by choosing to fight at all.  You will be in my sisters bedroom which used to be both of ours before I moved into what was the guest room and what will be again for you.  We had twin beds with matching flower mattresses and my dad used to lay between us and hold both of our hands as we all fell asleep.  It always made me feel safe to have them both there.  I think that is why to this day I prefer to sleep in a room with others close to me than I do by myself.  I for all my bravery during the day had terrible nightmares growing up and used to wake up every night and go sleep with my parents.  This might happen to you, it only took me 6 steps to get to the hall door and then only 10 more before I was inside of their room which always made me feel safe.  I would never let my mom hold me during the day like I would at night.  One night I woke up as I always did- it was late and I feared all the things that my imagination made realer than the things around me.  I wanted so badly to get up but I promised myself that if I could make it through this night than I would be ok. I was but I always attributed it to be my canopy bed.  I loved that bed, it got stolen out of my dads office years later.  Long story how it ever ended up there.  I wish I had kept better track of things I didn't know I would want later on.  Anyhow I think that if you ever need to feel safe curtains help but really it will just take time for you to know that this house will protect you like i always protected me.  I don't think I ever properly thanked it for that.  At night I used to go downstairs after everyone was asleep and make sure the door was locked.  It always way bc my dad is as paranoid as I am.  I would leave my hand on the lock and think about all the things that that small piece of metal separated me from.  It never seemed like enough but it always was.  

I think you will learn how to kiss boys here and you will cry here.  The best place to watch the stars is on the roof.  Be careful climbing over the rail by your parents room. Then go from slat to slat until you can put your foot on the roof tiles.  They aren't that comfortable at first so I would bring a blanket to sit on.  One of the best things you will come to find is the way you feel in the kitchen.  It brings people together.  I hope you enjoy the granite island that my mom added a couple years ago.  Like a real island peep congregate around it, sit on it, tell stories, secrets, drink wine and make messes.  It is where you can hear all the noise coming from when you walk inside and it makes you eager to get there as fast as possible to join the conversation and eat any and everything that is within sight.  I hope your mom can cook like mine can.  I hope your dad loves food the way mine does.  Food was not simply a meal but an experience in that kitchen.  It would begin with discussion and thoughts on what we all wanted or thought of.  Then cooking and shopping trips would commence.  There were always snacks and apps and dessert and thing to munch, troll, and graze on.  I hope it is this way for you too.  I hope that your parents make lunches and breakfasts for you like they did for me every morning until I went to college.  I would wake up with barely enough time to do everything I needed and my mom would have the most delicious lunch packed and waiting while my dad sometime heated the car and out breakfast in my hand.  Treasure those small meals that are hurriedly passed to you while you run out the door with your backpack and gym bag and homework-perhaps unfinished from the night before because you all got stuck watching a movie instead and watching the ending was much more important than any math problems.  I found the best place to study was in my room with all of my books spread out around me on the bed.  Be careful though bc I was told if you are in bed then you will naturally be inclined to sleep and that studying will never be best executed here.  I never found that to be true but perhaps you will be more disciplined and will utilize a desk instead.  Don't put a tv in your room, even if your parents will let you.  I spent countless hours reading and dreaming in my room and I am better for it.  I cried when my favorites died and at a young age knew that the boys I read about were much better than any I ever met in school.  I promised myself to wait until I found one that made me feel the way stories do-even though my mom told me that real life was not like the books I read.  Do not always listen to your mom if she says things like this.  Sometimes life colors people in ways that prevent them for believing in the things they hoped to be true most ardently and then they tell us things to try and protect us when in fact all they are doing are disappointing us as they were disappointed themselves.  Fantasy is a good thing and imagination is realer than some of the harshest proofs you will learn.  Explore the backyard- even though there are more houses there than there were when I was your age.  If you go back far enough into the woods you will come upon a giant garbage dump which I used to love exploring.  This sounds less than desirable now but I had some great adventures then and likes to pretend I would find something magical that would make my life that much more like the stories I loved so much.  

Try to pay attention to the skylight right in front of the main staircase.  Notice how the sun shines through at different angles and how it moves alone the floor.  I liked to lay in the square that the sun was trapped in and pray especially hard.  I felt that God could hear my prayers quicker when I was basking in that one special square of light and that the rays would take my words and longings straight to Heaven.  Maybe it just made me feel beautiful.  I hope you feel beautiful there.  I hope you walk down that spiral staircase with a long dress on or with shorts on and no makeup and that if there is someone there or not you know that you were made perfectly.  I love that staircase.  I love that way that it moves and how it holds the upstairs and downstairs together.  I loved looking over the railing and running down on Holidays collecting eggs and presents.  You will love it too.  I cried there when my dad went away for a short while to quit something that made me love him not just for the light he brings but for the dark things he has had to overcome as well.  

I hope you have a dad who loves you with everything he knows.  I hope that he hold you and tells you that his home is where you are and you will know that he means it and that his arms are sturdier than any of the walls you have come to know so well.  I hope you have a mom who treasures you.  That she tells you of your beauty and your worth.  That she would leave everything she owns behind to have you with her.  

If the walls could speak they would recite to you stories and fights and tears.  You would hear about things that would shock you and others that would make you laugh.  They would tell you of all the hands that walked by and of the moments that felt eternal in their perfection.  Our legacy is now yours to do with it what you will.  Make something that will last.  Know that it cant be built with your hands or held with your arms- that it must be within you and carried- like the best homes- in your heart wherever you go.  

The perfect day to die

 “The human ethical belief that death should be postponed as long as possible does not exist in nature—from which we are now, in any case, diverging.”-Felipe Sierra, the researcher at the National Institute on Aging

My initial thought was "There is a National Institute on Aging?" Who knew?  I have read two articles today, both from The Atlantic** about lifespans and the ramifications of more people living longer lives and what that might mean for us as humans in the future.  Reminds me of the Breaking Bad episode I saw last night - I am in season three - first time to embark down the rabbit hole.  I enjoy shows that try to reveal how complex it is to be good or bad.  It is also interesting finding oneself rooting for a character who is actively breaking the law and making bad choices.  I felt this way in Dexter and also when I read Crime and Punishment  (Mandatory reading for diploma). 

In last nights Netflix binge, Walt was talking to Jessie about how he being faced with the idea of his death (lung cancer) has changed him.  But that he missed the perfect time to die already.  He tries to articulate when he should have gone - finds a nearly perfect moment right after his daughter was born and longs to go back and not know what he knows now.

 I am boring myself. 

 I just think it amazing how it takes being confronted with imminent death to live with any kind of urgency (in most cases).  I also have been feeling since I started working after college - that I am wasting my life  
-"what is it all for?!!!!" 

 I am wasting away - literally every day as my body slowly marches to death.  (well actually it is more like expanding)   I need to look into this whole stand up desk business. Que my nightmare:

"Viewed globally, the lengthening of life spans seems independent of any single, specific event.  It didn’t accelerate much as antibiotics and vaccines became common. Nor did it retreat much during wars or disease outbreaks. A graph of global life expectancy over time looks like an escalator rising smoothly. The trend holds, in most years, in individual nations rich and poor."

I find myself constantly sitting in meetings and this overwhelming anxiety grips me and I stop listening to whatever is being said and I look around and I think, "What am I doing here with these people?! Am I going to be here in this room in 5, 10, 15, 20 years still sitting here...slowly dying...wearing bad pantsuits and writing on white boards, always waiting for a video to load...nodding and smiling and glancing at the clock...thinking "is this it?!"  The thing is I have had different jobs in different states for different companies and always the same thing.  I wonder what I am capable of and if I bought this lie that I was special and it has ruined me from simply accepting what I have and being thankful in my present circumstances.  

"When the 20th century began, life expectancy at birth in America was 47 years; now newborns are expected to live 79 years. If about three months continue to be added with each passing year, by the middle of this century, American life expectancy at birth will be 88 years. By the end of the century, it will be 100 years."

The thing is I don't know what I want to do.  I don't want to do nothing.  I believe we are made to work, to be creative and produce things and ideas and attempt to "cultivate our gardens." I am not afraid of working hard - quite the contrary - I want to work hard.  I want to feel I have really and truly worked.  That I used my brain and stretched myself to meet my potential and I broke down barriers and all those sayings from posters in elementary school.  Do I want to make money? Of course, but I believe what I learned in Sociology (such a mistake taking it at 8am) and how after about $50K and basic needs being met that happiness sort of levels out in that regard.  I do not stress out about money.  (this might change if I have kids and I need to pay for braces and club sports) but whatever we will make it work.  I want to be pushed and feel proud of what I have accomplished in my destined to be short or 100 year life.

Bright spot:

"Longer life spans may at last be the counterweight to materialism."

In fourth grade at the end of the year the teacher did this presentation thing with the students and parents and gave every kid a candy bar that represented them and said some words about them.  So someone got a Symphony bar because they played music and someone got a Sweet Tart and things like that.  I remember feeling so proud that I got a 100 Grand Bar.  She said all these nice things about me and I felt so important.  I sort of feel slightly depressed that I have not lived up to my candy bar coronation.  According to the graph above I am right on track to be making my First Contribution to the world.  Unless I am honest with myself and say maybe I do not belong on the graph at all. 

Where is the graph for "people with low - medium creative potential"  What about the average people?!  Do we not also need graphs?!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQgMLaqlRMk

"Many of us have suppressed, actively or passively, thinking about God, heaven and hell, and whether we return to the worms. We are agnostics or atheists, or just don’t think about whether there is a God and why she should care at all about mere mortals. We also avoid constantly thinking about the purpose of our lives and the mark we will leave. Is making money, chasing the dream, all worth it? Indeed, most of us have found a way to live our lives comfortably without acknowledging, much less answering, these big questions on a regular basis. We have gotten into a productive routine that helps us ignore them. " **more here and here

I went to Thailand recently on a "milennial life break travel to find myself tour" and taught English classes for about a week to some high schoolers who have grown up in a small community 4 hours outside of Bangkok.  We were studying professions and learning words like "photographer" "farmer" "artist" "actress" "mechanic" etc...
To help them learn their vocab better my friend and I would ask them questions so they could practice their new words.  So we asked, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" every single one of those 35+ students said farmer with the exception of policeman/woman from a couple.  Every single one - from a list of about 25 or more professions to choose from.  There were pictures and we had gone over definitions so there was a clear understanding of what each profession was.  Despite that and them being young enough to still dream none of them did.  They knew they would be farmers because that is what their parents were and what their grandparents had been before that.  A part of me envies and another pities them.  I know I can not be anything I want yet maybe the lie of that which was whispered to me has crippled me from accepting my limitations and current circumstances.    

“Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.” -In Beyond the Wall, Abbey writes,

He began with an apocalyptic vision. “We’ll be here on a sand dune with Norwegian rats and cockroaches,” he told me, beginning eye contact that rarely broke for the next hour. “Those seem to be the creatures that can survive, which isn’t ideal.” - Douglas Tompkins founder of Esprit and The North Face*

Patagonia

Again this idea of progress and the effects of it.  I am sort of obsessed with this notion that there are too many people consuming too many resources.  Yet until it is too late I do not believe anything will be dealt with.  Reminds me of a line from Camus' "The Plague"

“In this respect, our townsfolk were like everybody else, wrapped up in themselves; in other words, they were humanists: they disbelieved in pestilences. A pestilence isn't a thing made to man's measure; therefore we tell ourselves that pestilence is a mere bogy of the mind, a bad dream that will pass away. But it doesn't always pass away and, from one bad dream to another, it is men who pass away, and the humanists first of all, because they have taken no precautions.” 
― Albert Camus, The Plague 

I like this one too

“There have been as many plagues as wars in history; yet always plagues and wars take people equally by surprise.” 
― Albert Camus, The Plague

“We’re not believers in the myth of progress,” he continued, his lecture unfolding without pause. “This requires systemic analysis and gives us an entirely different view of development. It’s common sense that the world has gone awfully wrong. We need a major rethink of what development means.” -* 

• humans have no right to reduce the richness and diversity of life forms except to satisfy emphatically vital needs. 
• They state that the human population must decrease for the well-being and flourishing of the nonhuman world. 
• They also state the need for a shift in basic economic, technological, and ideological structures in order to reduce the human interference in the nonhuman world. 
•  The final principle states that “those who subscribe to the foregoing points have an obligation directly or indirectly to try to implement the necessary changes.” --the beliefs of deep ecology by Naess and Sessions - *

*more here

"ultimate simplicity leads to purity."

I just watched the documentary "Jiro Dreams of Sushi"  I saw it recommended on Chrissy Teigen's blog -who I love -  and found it to be incredibly compelling.  How rare to find a man who is driven by nothing more than the love of what he does? To not be changed/influenced by money, success, convention, and expectations of others.  He has been making sushi for 75 years.  The same every day - learning and improving.  And.he.loves.it.

He used to dream of sushi - of new combinations and recipes.  He massages the octopus for 50 minutes before it is cooked and served.  The fish are from the best vendors.  The rice is cooked with extra pressure.  The apprentices work for 10 years before they are considered trained.

Jiro says in the beginning, "Once you decide on your occupation you must immerse yourself in your work.  You have to fall in love with your work.  Never complain about your job.  You must dedicate your life to mastering your skill.  That is the key to success and being regarded honorably."

How do I fall in love with my work?  Is it something that I have to decide to do?  I keep waiting to fall in love before I decide.

What is it that I dream about at night and am compelled to do? - even if it is discerning the best tuna so that a man can make the best sushi from it.

I am unwilling to do what my heart has been whispering and now I have forgotten how to hear it.

Santiago moment.  I love the Alchemist.

I am going to try to remember how to listen.  Then perhaps I will be able to choose and then fall in love with my work.

Thursday

"As genes for beauty were favored over those for taste,

the skins grew tough and bitter

around mushy, sugar-soaked flesh."*

 

 

Though this has the feel of the opening scene to Hannibal... when I read this quote I couldn't help but shudder and think what a metaphor it is for society and how we worship beauty and not the "meat" of who people are and the way they think.  Not to go all Capitol of the Hunger Games with this but it is strange to me the things we/I/Snow White overlook for a nice eye catching thing. 

 

 

Thoughts of an overeducated overprivileged millenial:

• paper clips make good hair ties (open one end - weave over hair - instant bun
• all colors can be washed together on cold
• working a xerox machine is worth thousands of college credits 
• good chicken recipes make boyfriends happy and impressed
• formatting excel spread sheets make you miss group projects (and always delegating this task
• instagram likes = virtual hugs
• 7th grade math haunts me every day
• keeping my office orchid alive makes me feel real pride
• I read this article about how sitting all day is killing my body and it made me think about this image again from Walle
  

  
• I don't save much money bc therapy, hair color, acupunture, yoga, organic food, and weddings are expensive.  Mostly weddings.  Can we go back to the good old days of backyard bbq's with real flower crowns and a weeks notice? I'm thinking Forest Gump style when Jenny walks out of the house and it's all so relaxed (granted she might have AIDS at this point and his family had a huge plantation home so maybe this was not that simple).

•  I love when adults use emojis right but not when they have braces - I stare
• I have an inordinate amount of friends who started non profits, have traveled the world, are photographers as a hobby, and escaped a 9-5.  How did I miss out on this/these?
• owning a home terrifies me more than just about anything except spiders in said home
• I want to read this book that Stephen King wrote about writing and his teaching days.  To have had him as a teacher....to have a teacher again.  I miss high school/college and learning things full time but I don't want to just go to grad school to go bc I don't know what I want to study- except if I could do what James Franco did and major in whatever you want..  - also debt is terrifying and I am not famous and Yale is not letting me in. EVER.
• I am terrible at doing things every day at the same time the same way.  Hence the inconsistent grammar and my inability to proof things without extreme focus.
• I ardently believe (most) men are better drivers than (most) women - I am one of these women
• I have a severe disability when it comes to directions...however I still believe I would survive in the Walking Dead and potentially in the Hunger Games.
• I constantly wonder what it would be like to actually answer the question: "What am I capable of?" not just "What can I get by with?"
• When I get bored I always want to get a pixie haircut and then I remember that I am not Julianne Hough and I would look like a girl who does not like boys. 
• I have no real understanding of the things I use every day (cars, cell phones, the internet, i cloud, electricity, clean water, trash management...)  makes me think of Stephen Kings Gunslinger series and also if I ever went back in time I would be of no real use to anyone but they could probably teach me how to farm, hunt, and make clothes. #ihavenorealskills

 

(if only I had someone to format and edit this for me)

 

 

*This is from this Atlantic article about the rise of the Red Delicious apple in the U.S. and how through it being engineered for beauty it became qually as tasteless. 

Tuesday

Window/s (punn intended) staring has commenced.  I am in the wasteland part of my day known as "after lunch before 5". 

Big news - Apple has released the/its next big thing - the Iphone 6 and 6 + and the watch.  I am pretty jazzed about the watch.  Although somewhat skeptical.  This quote caught my attention :


"The Yo app might have brought “one-bit” communication to the public attention, but the Apple Watch thrives on it. What we’re seeing here are the beginnings of a move beyond text. We were already an image-heavy culture, but now, when we’re drawing and tapping to talk to our friends rather than actually talking, we’re moving even farther into that world." - See more HERE

I am excited and concerned that we are being ushered into a new more simple form of communication - tapping and pictures (or is this more complex?).  This will be cool and convenient but I wonder if it is a good thing to move farther and farther from the written word? (I consider email and text as written).  However I am into the sharing ones heartbeat feature (as measured by sensors on the back surface of the watch that touch your wrist) that the watch allows - sort of creepy but way better than an emoji <3.

At least once a day this image flashes into my mind and I am convinced this is the route humanity is on.  Probably would not hate it too much because I live and die for oreo milkshakes and a good cheeseburger. Seriously though - this movie haunts me. 

 

This article made me think today.  Which asks the question "Is 'Progress' Good for Humanity?"

More people = less resources + more waste

 

I can't help but quote one of my favorite dudes - the ever practical and wise (VERY experienced) -  realist of his time: King Solomon

"That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun." Ecclesiastes 1:9 (Rest of Chapter 1)

 

I think that KS (King Solomon) would be excited to have an Apple watch - which would inform him which sandals to wear and which one of his many wives (1,000 - see experienced) birthdays it was. but I think he was more referring to what it is to be human.  He attempts the answer to the great question (besides "what is for dinner?"*)

 

WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT ALL? 

 

Voltaire would say to live in the moment - and "cultivate ones garden" (Candide makes me crave gelato).  KS goes on to explain obedience to God. 

 

 This book was floating around in my head as I thought about language and people effecting each other.  It is also amazing.  She has a small part I have never forgotten about hands telling their own language and stories (more complex than sign language) and it is so beautiful.  I think about it all the time (not as often as Walle and the end of humanity).

*Chili from last night - my main squeeze - had the suggestion to let it stew over night for the flavors to really mix. As it turns out that was perfect bc we got invited to a "baked potatoe bring a topping party." #Chiliforthewin.

Mondays

As I am sitting in my cube - looking out my window at the lovely central TX skyline, my mind tends to wander.  Right now - since it is a Monday and I feel waterlogged from a friends weekend wedding in a less pretty part of TX (which was delightful) I can not help but reflect and wonder how it is that I got here. Mid twenties, 9-5, working towards a retirement I may never use - and if I can use - it surely will not be enough for the cost of living in the what 30+ years into the future.  #depressing

I digress. 

With spotify constantly playing in my left headphone, favorite bookmarked blogs, and a quick scroll through instagram - these represent my ever faithful companions during the work day. 

It is not that I do not work hard - I do.  (I get my work done efficiently and effectively).  I can not seem to figure out if these other "companions" are a necessary part of my millenial lifetsyle or if I am not being fully utilized at my 9-5. 

This quote had been resounding within me for a couple weeks now as I try to distract myself inbetween projects. 

"The world longs for sanctuary and instead we give it entertainment." - Rhonda Lowry

I wonder if what I am contributing and more importantly of late - consuming -  is a help or a hindrance to these needs?

Tonight - yoga and chili making.  The things I have come to look forward to.